Theater Training:
A lifetime of questionable decisions
Second City Training Program 2002

Personal Motto:
"You may have the right to free speech, but I have the right to tell you to shut up."

Favorite drink: Gin and Tonic
Vacation cities: Austin, TX and Cancun, Mexico
Personal Hero: Bond... James Bond

Skills:
• An uncanny ability to remember totally irrelevant facts
• The ability to convert oxygen and chemicals into carbon dioxide
• Able to leap small pieces of furniture in a single bound

Things that top my TO DO list:
• Avoid being the first against the wall when the revolution comes
• Retiring to a tropical island
• Spend a few years traveling the world
• Become Supreme Dictator of the World so that I can
  - finally put the whole Roswell controversy to rest
  - lift the curse on the Cubs
  - force the state of Illinois to build roads that never need to be repaired
  - ban stupid people (or at least take away their driver's licenses)
  - force science to develop a good-tasting pizza that actually prevents heart attacks